Humbled

Last night as Adison woke up for the third time crying her tiny in the middle of the night cry, I found myself unable to go back to sleep.  I thought about the last almost five weeks of my life.  Another child brought into my life that I had the awesome job of raising, protecting, teaching, loving... Four girls.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have four girls.  I remember when Dave and I were trying to conceive Emma, I prayed that I wouldn't have girls.  I always felt like I did so many things wrong as a young girl/woman that I had no idea how to raise a girl.  Things happen to girls that don't happen as often to boys.  Girls can be hurtful and awful to each other, the world is a harsh place where horrible and unfair things happen to girls.  Why did Heavenly Father trust such beautiful tiny spirits to me? How do I teach them to love themselves? Protect themselves? Have confidence in themselves? I lay there for a good hour thinking of these things.  I think what prompted all this thinking was an invitation for Claire to sleep over at a friend's house.  I'm not a fan of sleep overs.  Most of the ones I went to something happened that was not good.  Inappropriate movies put on, parents not home when promised they would be...etc.  I told the mom that sorry, we don't do sleep overs.  6 months ago Claire was 4! And I was told by this mom that the girl already has food issues.  She thinks she's fat.  6 years old and thinks she's fat! How sad... I second guessed myself afterwards.  Did I make the right decision? Am I being overly cautious? But a beautiful thing happened.  I prayed...I prayed and a warm feeling fled over my body.  I knew that I made a good decision, I knew that as long as I stay close to Heavenly Father and consult/talk/ask Him for help I will get that help.  Having four little spirits to raise is an awesome responsibility, He wants me to succeed, He wants my daughters to succeed.  It's scary, but it's not an impossible task - and the girls have the best dad that I could ask for them.  Dave is warm, funny, loving, protective - everything a dad of 4 baby girls should have.  I'm not alone in this.  After discovering all of this I could finally sleep.  :)  In the morning I woke the girls up to get them ready for school (they usually wake me up!) and gave each one a huge hug and kiss - their invisible shield against the world they face every time they leave me for school.  I know that as long as they know they can talk to me and their dad and that their home is a refuge, we'll be ok.  I always remind them of how lucky and blessed they are to have sisters that are their built in friends and defenders, and that they'll have that forever.  They always smile and say, "I know mom."  :)