Do you ever have a day where you question yourself? Of course you have, I guess everyone does. Tonight after fixing dinner, wrangling the kids in and out of the bath tub, lotions, jammies and a pass off to Dave for book reading duty, I sat down and just stared out the window. I wasn't looking at anything in particular, in fact, I think I was staring at our fence. This overwhelming sense of doubt came over me. I kept asking myself, "Am I a good person? Am I interesting? Am I fun? Am I a good mom? Am I a good wife? Am I a good daughter/sister? Am I a good friend? Am I using my time on this earth the best way I possibly can?" My answer to all is "eh." So I guess I'm having an eh day. I feel like I try. Is it noticed? Am I succeeding? I don't know. I guess all we can do is try. And pray. I think it's important to question these things in life. To re-evaluate. Take a step back and look at my life. So I guess this post is my self evaluation. In writing this I'm reminded of what President Hinckley said in the October conference in 1995, "Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can live with respect and appreciation for those not of our faith. We can improve the world about us, in our homes and in our social activities. We can do it, if we will be prayerful and faithful."
I hope that when my children read this post someday they will be able to answer "yes, mom, you were a good mom that tried hard to raise us the best way you knew how." I hope that my family when reading this realizes how much I love you and look up to you. I do try to be there for you, but I will try harder. To my friends reading this, I hope you know what a blessing you are in my life and my family's. I hope you feel I'm there for you. To David, I hope you know how much I love you and couldn't imagine my life without you. I hope I'm everything to you that you are to me. And to myself, I promise to try a little harder to be happy with who I am.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
carrie,
I love you. I wish we hung out more. I think your kind, witty, creative self is more christ-like then most people. You're lucky you have the nice gene..that's the one that really counts. How we treat people. Hopefully I'll see you at playgroup. I haven't been able to go lately I take a class Thursdays and Friday morning 9:15am. See you soon.
I think you're right. We all have those days. Thanks for the wonderful quote. I need to remember that one more often! I love you Carrie! I feel very blessed to have a wonderful Sister-in-law like you!
carrie.. you are wonderful. i have been blessed with you in my life. i have loved you as a friend since i met you. thanks for the quote.. i could do better too. lets get together this week.. maybe target??? ;)
love ya.
Carrie I LOVE you! We all have moments where we feel inadequat. Always remember you are loved, special, and important.:) I am so glad to have met you and your family! You all are WONDERUL!
Carrie...I know what you mean. I felt like I was having that day today as well, and boy does it seem lonely when I start thinking that way. :) I am sure that you are such a terrfic mother, you were always such a terrific friend, and I know that everyone around you feels like they are special. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Carrie,
I look at you and see so much I am constantly striving for...and I am not just saying that. You have got it together. Every Sunday when I am running around frantic after my one year old, I wonder how you are so composed and calm with three children. I wonder how you are able to organize a ward wide get together for all the moms each week in addition to everything else you have going on. I know it is easy to get down on ourselves, so I understand thats what you see when you look at yourself. But when others look at you they see a beautiful, Christ-like example who is an amazing mother, wonderful wife, and supportive friend. Keep up what you are doing, cause it's working! :o)
Thanks everyone for the wonderful supporting words. I love all of you too! I think it's important to remember that often when I feel like that that it's Satan working extra hard on me. A prayer and smile on my face helps to combat him. Thanks again, I so appreciate what you wrote to me.
I think you do an amazing job at everything you try, even though I haven't seen you in forever! I just remember the amazing person you were in college, how sweet and thoughtful you are to everyone. Doubts are normal, but I hope you don't linger on yours, you are one of those people who can be proud of who they are every day. :) I love you!
Post a Comment